Thursday, March 19, 2009


"I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it," laments Alice in Disney's rendition of Lewis Carroll's classic, as the bizarre creatures around the meadow peer at her from the shadows. Alice is a bit of a nitwit, so I'm reluctant to admit similarity to her. However: I give my peers very good insights, but I very seldom believe them in my heart.

By which I mean, when the hopeful things I tell people are real actually do manifest themselves, I am surprised. I was actually right? (I think to myself.) Oh yeah, there's a reason I believe that--which is that it's true! It's true whether or not I feel it, whether or not I believe it.

Reality is not contingent on my moods.

Reality is not contingent on my choices, either. Yes, I am responsible for my own actions, and by acting rightly, I improve my life--but if I fail to act correctly, sometimes things can still work out. Sometimes good things fall out of the sky, without my earning them. Sometimes there is unexpected mercy. Sometimes I don't know how to fix a problem, or even what the problem really is, but then it fixes itself. For instance, today: you surpassed my wildest expectations. Maybe you don't understand me completely, but you understand enough, and you're doing what you can. Freedom is a beautiful birthday gift. Thank you. (Thank God.)

God is good: all the time. All the time: God is good.

1 comment:

Ren said...

happy happy happy happy birthday
I agree with you--we can try pretty damn hard to control everything but sometimes it's best just to let it take its course. And better things happen that way!
(but I like Alice--she's cute in her naivety).